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BelferBlog - Blog Dariusza Chętkowskiego BelferBlog - Blog Dariusza Chętkowskiego BelferBlog - Blog Dariusza Chętkowskiego

28.03.2008
piątek

Zaczarowany stoliczek

28 marca 2008, piątek,

Uczniowie ostatniej klasy liceum przygotowują prezentacje maturalne, a właściwie ich nie przygotowują, tylko czekają na cud. Może spadnie manna z nieba, a  wraz z nią gotowa prezentacja na piśmie. Jeśli nie całe wystąpienie, to przynajmniej bibliografia i plan. W nerwowym oczekiwaniu na cud trwają nie tylko słabi uczniowie, ale także tzw. dobrzy. Nieomal wszyscy mają problem z przygotowaniem wystąpienia na wybrany przed kilkoma miesiącami temat.

Bezradni są nie tylko ci, którzy pochopnie wybrali trudny temat. Także ci, którzy mają mówić o miłości czy też wojnie w literaturze, twierdzą, że nic a nic nie mogą znaleźć na ten temat. Proszą o podrzucenie gotowych książek, artykułów, ponieważ sami nie są w stanie znaleźć potrzebnych pomocy.

Niestety, jestem nauczycielem okrutnym aż do przesady. Mam, ale nie dam. Nie tylko mam w domu każdą potrzebną książkę, mnóstwo artykułów na dosłownie każdy temat, ja mam nawet zaczarowany stoliczek, który na zawołanie serwuje mi dowolną bibliografię, plan prezentacji, a jak się uprę, to nawet gotowy zapis wystąpienia. Ten stoliczek to po prostu moje przepastne biurko, w którym zgromadziłem wszystkie prezentacje, jakie dotychczas były wygłaszane w mojej szkole oraz w liceum, do którego chodzę jako tzw. egzaminator zewnętrzny. Mam więc wszystko, ale nie dam nikomu nic a nic. Taki jestem wredny.

Jednak maturzyści nie muszą rozpaczać. Nie wszyscy ludzie są tacy wredni jak ja. Są tacy, co dają, użyczają, sprzedają, wymieniają itd. Ja do swojego zaczarowanego stoliczka bronię dostępu niczym pies ogrodnika, ale świat jest pełen szczerych ludzi, którzy z radością się podzielą. Idźcie do nich, jak nie potraficie trafić do biblioteki.

Od początku wprowadzenia nowej matury walczyłem z wiatrakami, prosząc uczniów, aby sami opracowali temat prezentacji, a do mnie przychodzili na konsultacje w dosłownym znaczeniu tego słowa, czyli po poradę, po zapytanie, po wskazówki i wytyczne, w celu sprawdzenia, czy dobrze pracują, aby poddać ocenie własny pomysł, żeby się wypytać, czy wystarczający materiał opracowali itp. Tymczasem mnóstwo uczniów przychodziło po prośbie, chcąc gotowca; jeśli nie 100-procentowego gotowca, to przynajmniej w trzech czwartych albo chociaż w dwóch trzecich. Takiego, żeby tylko postawić kropkę nad i, a potem nauczyć się całości na pamięć.

Tu wszem i wobec ogłaszam, że nie ze mną te numery. Mam gotowce i to w nadmiarze, ale nie dam. Nawet nie proście. Niech się każdy trzyma z daleka od mojego zaczarowanego stolika. Sami sobie wyczarujcie swoją prezentację. Ja służę tylko konsultacjami.

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  1. Niestety, jest cała masa domorosłych czarodziejów (może pokłosie popularności Harrego Pottera?), którzy za śmieszne pieniądze wyczarowują (często równie śmieszne) prezentacje.
    W takiej sytuacji matura ustna sprawdza umiejętność odpowiedniego lokowania kieszonkowego lub wyszukiwania stosownych ogłoszeń w Sieci.

  2. A co się dzieje w tym czasie z większością przyszłych polonistów? Piszą prezentacje i z dumą mówią: „Mamy w kieszeni 100 zł. Jak gnoje nie potrafią wypocić prezentacji maturalnej, to niech płacą”. Sytuacja korzystna jest zatem dla obu stron… Smutne, ale prawdziwe.
    Sama nie jestem święta – nie „oddałam się za pieniądze” (zresztą, może gorzej dla mnie, bo jak już harować za kogoś, to z jakimś profitem :/ ), jednak stało się: zadzwoniła ciocia, powiedziała że Krzyś sobie nie poradzi bez mojej „pomocy” i czy nie chciałabym sobie zarobić stówki. Jak tu nie zdębieć? Jak się nie zafrasować? Jak odmówić jeśli ode mnie miało zależeć „być albo nie być” Krzysia, jeśli ciocia płacze, jeśli babcia dzwoni i wspiera inicjatywę, jeśli wreszcie mama może być dumna ze swojej córeczki, która jest „szalenie zdolna, studiuje dwa kierunki, ma pasje”, która mówi: „Najważniejsza jest rodzina, nie można odrzucić prośby!”. Odmówić najnormalniej w świecie – powie ktoś. Tak też chciałam zrobić, ale po gwałcie rodziny nie zrobiłam (nie tłumaczę się i nie obwiniam innych). Odwaliłam za niego całą robotę, a on siedział obok i palcem nie kiwnął. To podsycało moje wkurwienie. Robienie dobrej miny do złej gry stało się prawie niemożliwe, gdy drań nie był nawet w stanie znaleźć motywu stworzenia świata w Piśmie Świętym i mitologii!!! Chyba postanowił odgrywać niemotę, leń śmierdzący, bo aż trudno w to uwierzyć.
    Tak moi Państwo, z matury dostał 3 (nie wiem jak to zrobił, bo moja praca była na 5). Ostracyzmu i przemalowania owieczki na czarno nie było, pozostał niesmak do samej siebie – upadłam. Możecie mnie ukamienować.

  3. Przykład idzie z góry. Czy nauczyciele sami nie tworzą zbędnej makulatury na zasadzie copy/paste. Plany, które należałoby samodzielnie opracować ściaga się z netu.
    Wina człowieka czy głupiego systemu?

  4. Reklama
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  5. Ogłasza się „wszem wobec” bez „i” 🙂 Przepraszam, że ja tak tutaj, ale… nie wypada poloniście.

  6. Jak to możliwe? Gdy ja przygotowywałem się do nowej matury (która została odroczona w końcu) najbardziej baliśmy się prezentacji z polskiego. Prezentacja to prezentacja – żadnego „lania wody”, ma być konkretnie, na temat. Prezentacja przygotowywana miesiącami – czyli nie ogólne wypracowanie. Ma się znać szczegóły i zgłębić należycie temat. Wszyscy na próbnej maturze polegli. Nasza nauczycielka była głupia?

  7. J.Cz.,
    dziękuję za uwagę. Oczywiście, że wszem wobec, a nie wszem i wobec. Skoro jednak szydło wyszło z worka, niech już tak zostanie. Poprawię się w następnych wpisach. Oprócz zaczarowanego stoliczka mam jeszcze kije samobije. Widzę, że też tylko dla mnie.
    Serdeczności
    DCH

  8. Jakim trzeba być przygłupem żeby samodzielnie nie przygotować krótkiej prezentacji na dowolny temat ???

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